The Voice of the Critics (pt. 2)

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I’m a people person, and I love pleasing people.  Whatever makes the people I love or care about sad, makes me sad, and when people are pleased with me, I’m happy.  I want friends, I want acceptance, I’ve always wanted to be normal.

Growing up, I didn’t realize I wasn’t normal.  It was only when I was ten or eleven that I realized that there was a reason I didn’t fit in.

I’ll be honest.  People are mean.  I would constantly get teased or someone would say a mean comment about my shoe size, about my hairstyle, about my lack of nice clothes, about my love of school, my height, or about how I ate.

Are you ready for some things that are silly?  My shoe size can’t change.  I’m a tall girl, and that means I have big feet.  And my shoe size makes it hard to find women shoes that fit, and so I’ve accepted it and wear guy shoes.  Yes, I know I could buy some shoes besides cowgirl boots, but you know what?  That wouldn’t be me.

But at one time in my life, I tried to change who I was.  I tried to be normal.

I stopped caring about school, and pretended to hate math.  I tried to be bad at things, like writing.  I tried to be bad at things, so then I couldn’t be told I was good at everything.  Of course, it isn’t true that I’m good at everything,  (Just ask to see my knitting and clay work.  😂)  but people would say so, and it wasn’t normal to be eleven and told you’re good at a lot of different things.

Also, I didn’t like my friends or siblings being upset at the fact that I was gifted.  I didn’t enjoy being Joseph in modern terms, and so I tried to hide who I was in order to get friends and acceptance.

Do you know where that got me?  Nowhere! I was still alone, I was behind in school, I was unhappy, and I was sick to my stomach all the time because I was eating food I was sensitive to.

If people you think are your “friends” leave you out or make you feel that you need to be someone besides yourself, they aren’t worth your time.  If they make fun of your health issues, or how you need to eat, they aren’t worth bothering your head about.  If they make fun of your size, your shape, or your hair coloring, they aren’t real friends.

Real friends will accept you for who you are, they’ll understand that you aren’t perfect, and help you to become the person that God wants you to be.

You will have people voice their opinions about what you should do, what you should think, and how you should look.  They’ll be mean, they’ll be untrue, and they won’t be necessary, but they’ll hurt, and they will seem true.

But guess what?  It’s only things they think you should do.  Their comments don’t mean you really should do them.  You shouldn’t change who you are, what you want to do, or how you look just for some comments.

I can’t even count how many times I’ve been called a looser, told I’m ugly, or laughed at because of the way I dress.  The thing is that these lies don’t disappear, even after I confront them.  The lies always come up when I’m depressed or upset.  They come up at times when I need truth instead of lies.

As a human being, your words can be hurtful to those around you.  You’ll either be known for sarcastic, mean-spirited, “witty” comments, or you’ll be known as compassionate, gentle, and kind.

I don’t know about you, but the first kind of person isn’t the kind of person I’d say is a true friend.  Exchanging mean comments isn’t my idea of friendship, and tagging on the line, “I’m just kidding” doesn’t make it any better.

Real friends are there for you in those times, reminding you of truths.  Sharing Bible verses, Christian quotes, and reassuring you and letting you know that they’re there for you.  Telling you that they’re rooting for you.

We’ll have critics in our lives.  Sometimes they’ll say something that’s true, but most of the time they’ll say things that are lies.  We need to remember the truth, and we need to find friends that will encourage and build us up instead of tear us down.

We need to be the friends that encourage and build up.

In this world, whether you like it or not, you have two options.  To be the person that makes others cry, or the one that makes them smile.  It’s up to you to decide.

The world needs more friends, and less critics.  We don’t need stupid lies, we need the truth.  Be the one that shares the truth to others.  What is the truth?  “Thy Word is Truth.” (John 17:17)  Search the Word of God, and you will find the answers and the truth you need.

~~Amie~~

 

19 thoughts on “The Voice of the Critics (pt. 2)

  1. “If they make fun of your health issues … they aren’t real friends. … Real friends will accept you for who you are, they’ll understand that you aren’t perfect, and help you to become the person that God wants you to be.” THANK YOU for that!!! I’m constantly having to remind myself of that. ❤️ I tried to be normal once. I failed. I could never be fake enough to make my “friends” happy. Thanks again for the reminder!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Ohh, this was good! *squints at my cowboy boots* I feel for ya! And I know what it feels like to be looked at as something of a protégé at 11 or 12 and not always wanting to live up to that expectation. In the end, God knows what’s best for me, not those who think I’ve had a writing career handed to me on a silver platter. 🥰

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Ahh, that was an amazing post, Amie! You’re so good at these thoughtful posts. ❤ I can totally relate to a lot of this (although thankfully, I haven't met a lot of mean people in my life), so thank you for the reminder that this type of criticism shouldn't get to you!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. AGH THIS WAS GOOD, AMIE! I’m so sorry you had to go through that, though – that’s awful! *puts up fists to fight mean people* I agree. We need more people who are encouragers and good friends!

    Liked by 4 people

  5. “Exchanging mean comments isn’t my idea of friendship, and tagging on the line, “I’m just kidding” doesn’t make it any better.”

    T H A N K Y O U

    One of my biggest pet peeves is when people say something rude, and then act like “oh that hurt your feelings it was just a joke w o w you’re so oversensitive don’t you know how to take a joke”. Man that makes me angry. I make sarcastic jokes with my friends all the time, but we don’t intentionally hurt each other’s feelings.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Wow, this is such a good message, and it is so true. It makes me sad to hear that you went through this, but your your personal experience is life changing for so many people who needed to hear this. Thank you for sharing, and always stay true to yourself because you are one of Gods beautiful creations. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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